Negativity

Tyler and I had our hopes up about this morning's checkup. Since they've become weekly we both have our fingers crossed as to what news the Doctor will give us. Will she be on time? Late? Are we healthy? Have I gained too much weight? It's such a treat that we get to hear her little heartbeat each week, and we really look forward to going into the office. At first we were a little apprehensive as to how they worked. Like we don't have one set doctor, instead they rotate us between 8 Doctors since we don't know which of them will be on call the day of the delivery. I didn't have a problem with that until today. Our appointment was at 8:45, and while we drove we talked about our plans and how surreal this has all become. Pretty soon we'll be bringing our bundle of joy home, and become parents!! We knew we wanted the Doctor to check my cervix to see if there was any improvement from last week. (Remember I was 1cm and 50% effaced)?.. There's a part of me that is hoping she'll be early, but we really just want to have a better idea of when to expect her. Tyler has some interviews for med-school lined up and we're just depending on when baby wants to make her appearance.

Anyways... Shortly after they signed us in, they called me back and did the same old routine, pee in a cup,  check my weight, and blood pressure. Then the Dr. comes in. We had never met today's Doctor, and I sure wish I never had to. She glanced over my chart and told me I was good, and then told me to lay back and checked my belly with her measuring tape. Then she let us hear the baby's heart beat, which is the cutest (138). She asked if we had participated in any birthing classes and when we said no, she seemed a little irritated kind of second guessing our ability to be parents if we didn't take the class. WHICH let me point out, is optional not mandatory. I also don't need to explain to anyone why or why not Tyler and I choose to do things. She then asked if I had any questions. Like I mentioned, I wanted to get checked and when I told her she said "We don't usually check until you're in your 39th week"  My thoughts were Uhmm I'm 38 weeks, and a few days, really? You're not gonna check, even though they checked me last week? I told her I really wanted to see if there was any changes and in a condescending voice she just said "I doubt it, there's no need to rush things". I could feel my blood start to boil at this point. Then Tyler asked for some guidance as to when it would be safe to schedule his med-school interviews. When she heard he was applying for med school, she said "Oh I wouldn't do that, these day's its not worth being a Doctor, you end up with more debt and most of the people who go into med-school don't even make it to their residency." Omygosh lady, seriously? I could feel my blood pressure and stress level raising. I was fuming. She then proceeded to tell us that her daughter wanted to be a plastic surgeon but she was like "Really? it's 4 years of school, 4 years of medical school, 2 years of residency, and 2 years of possibly traveling for your job. You should just become an engineer-er, it'll be easier".  All I kept thinking was what a great role model you are, telling your kids they can't achieve their dreams instead of encouraging and motivating them to be the best they can be.. 

 I hated this Doctor and definitely cursed at her. In less than 10 minutes she had denied me to be checked, (even though I'm pretty certain they have to if you ask.), had judged our parenting skills over a class, and had shot Tyler's dreams for a future. I came home crying, feeling defeated. I refuse to have that lady deliver my baby. I would rather have a midwife do it, have the baby in the car, then have her negativity be around us. Our drive home was not at all how we thought it would go.

I'm not sure why there are some nasty people in this world, but what upset me even more was how much I let her bug me. I mean she ruined my morning, but I need to have a better attitude. I can't let this bring me down. I've been so sensitive lately, I just want my little girl here and be done with all of this.

Hopefully next week will be better. :)